Developing Wellbeing

How to love ‘difficult conversations’


One of the commonest things that leaders find difficulty in doing, or avoid doing altogether, is ‘difficult conversations’.

The memory of previous conversations triggers the red zone and the conversation is put off or the conversation goes ahead and your red zone triggering leads to a spiral of negativity and a poor outcome – or at least you fear it will. 

In practice, difficult conversations take up far too much time and emotional energy:

  • Too much thinking and overthinking rather than acting
  • Delay in a situation that is probably made worse by delay
  • A solution is put off so that the poor outcomes necessitating the conversation continue
  • Reduction in our self-confidence as we keep putting things off
  • Feelings of guilt if the conversation goes badly

It is time to resolve this!

Much of the training offered in this space focuses on the process of having a difficult conversation.

We offer something different.

From our perspective, a difficult conversation is an opportunity for us to be at our best and create, or better co-create, a solution that would have not been possible without our skill in engaging with the other person and bringing them into a frame of mind (the blue zone) from which a solution became possible.

A difficult conversation becomes a means for us to demonstrate our competence, one of our innate drives, at the same time as being one of the high leverage points in our work.  Resolve all the difficult conversations and everything works better!

What is not to love?

We do this by reframing a difficult conversation into the before and after:


The overthinking, the dread


The replaying of the conversation where we make ourselves the hero again, the guilt and beating ourselves up

And the conversation itself:

The opportunity to be at our best: calm, engaged, attentive, open to new ideas

By re-framing in this way, the difficult conversation becomes an opportunity – rather than a threat - and we give you strategies to remove the before and after clutter.

With practice you will learn to look forward to difficult conversations, not dread them.


Upcoming Workshop

How to Love Difficult Conversations

Date: Friday 1st June
Time: 9am - 3:30pm
Where: Melbourne TBC
Numbers: maximum of 15

Cost: $450 + GST